Jocelyn Ulevicus: Exploring Healing and Transformation Through Poetry
Ulevicus is an American artist, writer, and poet. In her visual work, you'll encounter colourful & energetic floral arrangements. At the same time, in her writing, she more closely explores her experiences of being a woman growing through and beyond loss and trauma. Her work is either forthcoming or published in magazines such as SWWIM Every Day, The Free State Review, Blue Mesa Review, Humana Obscura and elsewhere. Ulevicus is a Pushcart and Best Poets nominee, and her in-progress memoir, The Birth of a Tree, was shortlisted for the 2019 Santa Fe Literary Awards Program. Her favourite quality in a person is kindness to strangers and animals. Her recently published book, The Difference Between Breathing and Swallowing, captures the essence of hope, healing, and the beauty found in everyday life. With a focus on the themes of self-containment, trauma, and the transformative power of breathing, Ulevicus invites readers on a journey of self-discovery and resilience.
This captivating collection takes readers on a transformative journey, exploring themes of hope, healing, and the extraordinary power found within everyday moments. Through her poignant and introspective poems, Ulevicus shares her personal experiences of navigating loss, trauma, and heartbreak, ultimately discovering her own path to womanhood through acts of self-vigilance and presence. Each poem in the collection beautifully captures the delicate balance between life's tiny births and deaths while delving into the transient nature of existence and the healing potential of breathing.
In her book, "The Difference Between Breathing and Swallowing," Jocelyn Ulevicus delves into the theme of the trauma of secret-keeping and its profound impact on the body and multiple generations. Rather than specifying the nature of the trauma or the secrets themselves, Ulevicus aims to shed light on the detrimental effects of self-containment and swallowing on one's physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. The narrative focuses on the importance of breathing as a healing and transformative act of art, emphasizing the power of movement in any form.
Within the book, two primary motifs emerge. The first motif revolves around spring, which is evoked through direct references to the season, specific months like April, or vivid descriptions of blooming flowers, breaking buds, and shifts in light and weather. Ulevicus draws on the actuality of spring but also explores its metaphorical significance. As someone born in the spring and witnessing the emergence of new life during this season, she sees spring as a symbol of resilience and renewal that transcends hardship. Within each individual, there exists a perennial blooming awaiting its time.
The second motif that permeates the collection is flight. Ulevicus often mentions birds, feathers, wingspans, or the rush of wind, creating a sense of constant movement. This movement represents her quest for independence in the world and, more significantly, freedom within her own body. It reflects her journey of self-discovery and liberation, as she strives to overcome the constraints and limitations imposed upon her.
Through these motifs and themes, Jocelyn Ulevicus invites readers to explore the profound impact of secret-keeping, the healing power of breathing, and the transformative potential of embracing movement and freedom. Her poetic expressions resonate with a universal desire for liberation and self-discovery, encouraging readers to reflect on their own journeys and find solace in the perpetual cycle of renewal and growth.
Jocelyn Ulevicus's personal journey has been marked by profound challenges and losses. Losing her parents to sudden and traumatic deaths at a young age, she had to navigate the complexities of grief while simultaneously grappling with the societal constructs and politics surrounding her identity as a girl and a white woman. Ulevicus's experiences were further complicated by enduring domestic abuse and sexual assault, growing up in an environment where love was intertwined with violence. These experiences left her with a multitude of emotions to unpack, including deep pain, feelings of worthlessness, guilt, and toxic shame.
Ulevicus's struggles in life have been intertwined with the process of unpacking these emotions and reclaiming her sense of self. Her book, "The Difference Between Breathing and Swallowing," is the culmination of this transformative journey. It serves as a testament to her resilience, as she has confronted and overcome immense pain to become the person she is today. This book not only represents the end of one chapter but also marks the beginning of a new phase in her life—an opportunity for growth and renewal, akin to the arrival of spring.
Through her writing, Ulevicus invites readers to witness her profound transformation and find solace in their own journeys. She shares her experiences with raw vulnerability, shedding light on the complexities of trauma, loss, and the process of healing. Ulevicus's book serves as a powerful testament to the human spirit's capacity to overcome adversity and find hope in the face of profound challenges. It is an invitation to embrace the perpetual cycle of growth and renewal that lies within each individual's story.
The inspiration for writing "The Difference Between Breathing and Swallowing" emerged during the uncertain times of the pandemic when the world seemed to be in disarray. As someone living with PTSD, Jocelyn Ulevicus found herself destabilized by the events unfolding around her, craving a sense of control in an overwhelmingly chaotic climate. Turning to this project provided her with a means to regain a semblance of power and agency when everything else felt out of control. In retrospect, Ulevicus acknowledges that the only aspect within our control is our response to life's unpredictability. Reflecting on her early life, she recognized how her behavior had been guided by unconscious patterns, impressions, and societal conditioning. Writing this book offered her the grace to confront and examine those patterns, envisioning who she could become and how she could show up in the world.
Originally conceived as a full-length memoir, "The Difference Between Breathing and Swallowing" underwent a transformation, evolving into a collection of essays and eventually giving birth to poems as a means of making meaning. Ulevicus embarked on this writing journey as an act of de-containment, a process of extracting everything from her body, examining it, seeking understanding, and ultimately transforming it into something new. The very act of writing became a conduit for the complete annihilation of the ego, enabling Ulevicus to break free from the entrenched patterns of intergenerational trauma and challenge societal norms surrounding womanhood. However, she hadn't anticipated the extent of grief and mourning that would accompany this process.
Throughout her darkest times, Ulevicus found solace and healing through writing, which continues to anchor her as she further embraces her journey into womanhood. The book not only marks the beginning of her own growth but also signifies a departure from the starting point, representing a pivotal moment of transformation and self-discovery. Ulevicus draws inspiration from the paths that unfold in each person's life, recognizing that we cannot fully comprehend their twists and turns until we have lived through and beyond them. While acknowledging the gut-wrenching aspects of life, she believes in embracing its startling, glittering, complex, and, above all, beautiful nature. Ulevicus emphasizes the significance of what we choose to do with our experiences, recognizing the profound impact our actions can have in shaping our paths and the world around us.
The title of Jocelyn Ulevicus's book, "The Difference Between Breathing and Swallowing," holds deep personal significance rooted in her lived experiences. Throughout her life, she has felt the weight of trauma in her throat, stifling her ability to express herself and share her experiences in the moment. It was as if she had crafted two versions of herself—an inner self that resided within her body and an outer self that the outside world could see and interact with. This internal struggle is reflected in her poem "Return To Wild."
Ulevicus reveals that her throat still tightens and she withdraws when triggered, fearing that her feelings and burdens may burden others. Thus, the title of the book refers to the act of swallowing pain and life events. It signifies the containment and survival instinct that comes with suppressing one's emotions. Ulevicus further elaborates on the ways in which she subjected herself to self-inflicted brutality, such as disordered eating, excessive spending of physical, emotional, and material resources in search of self-worth, and pursuing relationships with men who couldn't reciprocate love due to her own inability to love herself. In her darkest moments, she turned to alcohol as a means to feel her intense emotions, ultimately drinking herself into oblivion.
However, the title also conveys a profound journey of healing. Breathing represents the antithesis of swallowing—an act of love, letting go, and embracing life. Ulevicus acknowledges that swallowing can also be seen as an act of love, as one strives to survive loss, trauma, and heartbreak, even in the messiness and discordance of the process. Yet, as time passes and one endures repeated breaking points, a natural inclination emerges to soften and breathe. In this process of breaking and softening, the collection explores how one learns to rest, embrace their true self, and become whole. It encapsulates the transformative power of embracing vulnerability, releasing pain, and embracing life with an open heart.
Jocelyn Ulevicus expresses her deep admiration and literary/artistic crushes, showcasing the diverse range of individuals who have influenced and inspired her during the writing of her book. Her list includes a captivating mix of renowned authors, philosophers, artists, and creative figures who have left an indelible mark on her artistic journey.
Among her literary crushes, Ulevicus mentions Roxane Gay, Lidia Yucknavitch, Ada Limón, Clarice Lispector, Deborah Levy, Lena Dunham, Joy Harjo, Tiana Clark, Judith Butler, Kiese Laymon, Audre Lorde, and Edouard Louis. These writers have undoubtedly impacted her creative process and worldview, influencing the way she approaches storytelling, vulnerability, and social commentary within her own work.
Ulevicus's artistic crushes encompass a diverse array of visual artists who have left an impression on her. She cites the likes of Hannah Emmerson, Patti Smith, Ocean Vuong, Joan Mitchell, Agnes Martin, David Hockney, Shirley Jaffe, Matthew Wong, Christina Quarles, Maria Lasnig, and Simon Leigh. Each artist brings their unique perspectives, styles, and artistic voices that resonate with Ulevicus's own artistic sensibilities.
Additionally, Ulevicus highlights an article written by Lena Dunham, which holds a special place in her creative space. This article focuses on Dunham's journey of softening herself and finding safety, ultimately leading her to experience the greatest love story of her life. Ulevicus admires Dunham's ability to embrace vulnerability and draws inspiration from her courage and personal growth.
If Jocelyn Ulevicus had the opportunity to speak to her younger writing self, she would offer empowering advice that resonates with aspiring writers. Firstly, she would emphasize that no one's permission is required to write. Every voice deserves to be heard, including her own. Ulevicus encourages her younger self not to be afraid of expressing her voice and the stories within her.
In addition, Ulevicus would emphasize the importance of reading extensively. By immersing oneself in literature across genres and exploring works from both beloved and disliked authors, one can glean valuable insights and learn from diverse perspectives. Through this wide-ranging reading, she discovered that many themes of the human experience are universal. Love, loss, heartbreak, and the inevitability of death are shared threads that connect us all. Whether one's journey involves war, addiction, mental illness, fame, or downfall, the uniqueness of their experience and perspective remains.
Ulevicus encourages all aspiring writers, to keep writing, editing, and sharing their work without allowing rejection to hold them back. Instead, rejection can be transformed into fuel, igniting hope and determination to continue sharing their stories. She believes that someone out there needs their work in the world and that their words might provide solace and support during the darkest and most challenging times. Ulevicus draws from her own experience of finding solace in the writings of other authors, which helped her survive and navigate her own path.
As Ulevicus candidly shares her experiences and reflections, it becomes evident that she draws inspiration from life itself. She cherishes the startling, glittering, and complex nature of existence and recognizes the transformative potential that lies within each person's unique life path. Ulevicus encourages aspiring writers to embrace their own voices, read extensively, and share their work without fear of rejection. Through the power of storytelling, she believes in the ability to forge connections, inspire hope, and navigate the darkest moments with the support of literature.
Jocelyn Ulevicus, with her evocative and introspective writing, continues to weave a tapestry of healing, growth, and empowerment. Her journey of self-discovery and resilience serves as an inspiration to all who encounter her work, reminding us of the transformative power of storytelling and the enduring beauty that emerges from the human spirit.
You can find Jocelyn Ulevicus and explore her vibrant artwork, writing, and poetry on her website at www.jocelynulevicus.com. She also shares her creative journey on Instagram (@jocelyn.ulevicus), where you can follow her for updates and insights into her work. Her latest book, "The Difference Between Breathing and Swallowing," is now available on Amazon, offering readers a poignant exploration of healing, transformation, and the power of resilience. Don't miss the opportunity to delve into Ulevicus's captivating words and immerse yourself in her unique artistic vision.