Book Interview: Rebirth by Emma Williamson
EMMA WILLIAMSON is a fiction writer and poet from Toronto. Her short fiction has been published by Dark Moon Digest and Toasted Cheese Literary Journal, and her poetry has appeared in several anthologies. She has received various writing prizes, including being selected as a finalist for Canada’s prestigious 2020 Alice Munro Short Story Prize.
Emma is currently polishing her debut psychological thriller and is working on various other writing projects. She lives in Toronto with her husband and two young sons.
Can you tell us a bit about the book you just published with Sunday Mornings at the River?
A unique blend of poetry, prose, and memoir, REBIRTH is the heartfelt expression of how I used poetry to change my life. I take the reader with me from Dusk to Night to Sunrise, as I myself journey from the darkness into the light. The poems in REBIRTH explore anxiety, fear, and hurt from a philosophical and motivational perspective. Touching on heartbreak, motherhood, gender politics, identity, and the inevitable storms of life, REBIRTH explores perennial questions about what it means to be human through an intimate yet (I hope!) universally relatable lens.
What inspired you to write this book?
In 2016, I was a young mother working sixteen-hour days as a corporate lawyer. I wasn’t sleeping, and I was struggling with protracted post-partum anxiety and depression that I hadn’t admitted to anyone in my life, let alone myself. I wasn’t well, but I was hiding it. Things were at a breaking point, and I (quite randomly, probably because journaling wasn’t helping) resolved to write a poem a day that year…which continued throughout 2016 and beyond. I began to share my poetry on Instagram at the urging of a close friend, and things took off from there. I ended up quitting my corporate law job to write full-time, going to counselling, and getting in touch with parts of myself I had long buried. This book is the genesis of a long period of transformation and difficulty, and I hope it helps others who may be in the same or similar positions, or who just need something to motivate and inspire them.
What does the title mean, and why did you pick it?
Nietzsche wrote that life was not a being, but a becoming. I believe that the human experience can generally be boiled down to an endless cycle of life, decay, death, and rebirth. And my view is that rebirth is the most hopeful – if painful – part of the cycle. This book is about one of my rebirths, and what I learned in the process of “becoming”.
Who are some of your literary or artistic crushes, and did they influence you at all while writing this book?
So many crushes, but I’ll try to stick to the poets for now! Patti Smith (the queen of punk, poetry, and general coolness), Adrian Matejka, Anne Sexton, Lynn Crosbie, Lucille Clifton, e.e. cummings, and Yrsa Daley-Ward are but a few of my poet loves. Most of their influence was probably subconscious if anything, but I did read Sexton and Crosbie in particular when I was having trouble getting in touch with those deeper emotions and needed to push myself out of my comfort zone. Some of the imagery in my collection comes directly from saying to myself: “ok, get focused. This isn’t quite right yet. What would Sexton/Crosbie do here?”
What was one of the most surprising things you learned in creating your book?
How much the book would become – as fellow poet Stefanie Briar brilliantly described this kind of experience – a sort of “time capsule” about me at a certain point in my life. When I read the final manuscript, I was shocked at how much it didn’t feel like me any more. I appreciated it, and I saw how it could potentially help others, but there was a certain amount of emotional distance between me and the book, whereas when I was in the process of writing the poems that made up the collection (and earlier drafts of the manuscript) I felt very “attached” to the work itself. Rebirth WAS me, at one point, of course. But now it’s a past me. Realizing that was both disorienting and gratifying because it meant I really had learned and changed in the course of writing the book.
What is the key theme and/or message in the book?
That struggling is part of being human, and that we may not always have control over what happens to us, but we always have choices to make and lessons to learn. And that we primarily learn through first-hand experience. It’s all well and good to learn from others, but we have to go through things ourselves to develop real skills for dealing with adversity.
What are common traps for aspiring writers?
Writing what you think people want to hear or focusing too much on what you think will sell / writing for the market. Holding the reader’s hand too much. Personalizing people’s reactions, whether good or bad. Not appreciating that once you put your words out there, the words go beyond you – that there’s a writer/reader dynamic you can’t control. And not editing enough…or thinking you’re above editing or taking constructive criticism. Most of the real work of writing is in rewriting.
What other authors are you friends with, and how do they help you become a better writer?
Fellow poets Sean Felix and Sarah Herrin have been incredible sources of support for me over the years. They help me to improve indirectly by giving me their opinions and constructive criticism…not just on my work, but on my career more generally. Our Zoom writing sessions have helped me to stretch and grow. And my mentor from The Humber School for Writers, Canadian novelist Trevor Cole, taught me so much when I wrote my first (terrible) novel under his guidance. My fiction writing vastly improved once I started listening to his advice (one particular nugget: never use a generic word when a specific one will do!).
If you could tell your younger writing self anything, what would it be?
Patience, patience, patience. Writing is a difficult and iterative process, a perpetual unfolding. As I’ve mentioned above, writing is rewriting! And I’d also tell myself not to be so precious and fearful about my work…I’d encourage myself to share more and ask for more feedback. I was really afraid for a long time about writing, and I see now that much of that fear was unnecessary and prevented me from following this path earlier in life.
What did you edit out of this book?
Poems that felt repetitive, like they weren’t adding anything new, or that felt too sophomoric for the collection. As poets, certain themes tend to emerge in our work, but you don’t want to badger readers with four versions of the same message! I wanted the collection to feel tight but rich in theme and content.
What is the most difficult part of your artistic process?
The first draft. I have no problem letting my type A lawyer-trained brain go to town on a finished product, but I find it really difficult to just let go, get into the creative flow, and get the first draft down on the page. I read once that you have to give yourself permission to write poorly, and I think that’s fantastic advice that I really try to follow in order to get started. The editing can come later. First, just write what comes, even if it sucks.
What is the first book that made you cry?
The Year Without Michael, by Susan Beth Pfeffer. To this day I can still remember staying up until 1 AM to finish it (I think I was around 10 years old or so), and the way I felt reading the last paragraph, tears in my eyes. It traumatized me! I think that’s what ignited my interest in writing dark fiction – because I felt so moved by the emotional plight of the protagonist.
What is the best money you ever spent as a writer?
It’s an ongoing expense: books. Lots and lots of books. Not only is reading my favourite thing to do, it helps me grow as a writer…and what’s more, I’m supporting other writers to do what they love.
Do you believe in writer’s block?
Yes and no. I guess it depends on how you define writer’s block. Usually, a feeling of being blocked (which I have definitely struggled with) is really just fear. It’s not that I don’t actually have anything to say, it’s that for whatever reason, I’m afraid of writing the truth, or judging my own product too harshly. It’s so easy to think that because we’re blocked, that means there’s nothing there…then we tend to abandon ourselves, to not trust the process, to not give ourselves permission to write badly, or assuming “the muse” has left us. When really, we should just write something. Anything. A list of what’s on our desk, all the words we can think of that start with “R”…or All Work and No Play Makes Jack a Dull Boy repeated ad nauseam. That should get things moving again ;)
What is a quote that helps you write?
Natalie Goldberg said: “It is important to feel out the situation. Do not make up your own rules ahead of time.” This quote is great life advice, but I also keep it on my desk and use it as a guide when I write. When my left brain tries to plan everything out and assert control over my work and future (as if the creative force is something that can be controlled), I remind myself that I have intuition and heart for a reason. Creative work where nothing is left up to chance and uncertainty is a dry, desiccated thing indeed…and it’s also not very much fun! And life is too short to not have fun.